Handmaids Tale -  Revenge of the Muffins

Handmaids Tale - Revenge of the Muffins

Handmaids Tale - Revenge of the Muffins

SPOILER ALERTIf you are not caught up on Season 3 of The Handmaid's Tale, read no further.

Question: If, like June in The Handmaid's Tale,  you were systematically tortured, abused and your children were taken away from you- how far would you go to seek revenge?  That's a serious question so please forgive my "not-so-serious-but-kinda-mean-it-not-really-probably-not" answers below.

Historically, there are two schools of thought on revenge. The Bible, in Exodus 21:23, instructs us to "give life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot" to punish an offender. But more than 2,000 years later, Martin Luther King Jr., responded, "The old law of 'an eye for an eye' leaves everybody blind."

My personal thoughts on the revenge that should be exacted on fictional Gilead may have been influenced by other works of literature or film.  Or may just simply indicate that I have some psychopathic tendencies- but hey, it's my Google search history that I am messing with, so indulge these unsavory musings.

Let me begin by saying that aside from being a sh*tty place to live, there are some things about Gilead that just don't make sense- not just in a "women are being systematically raped" kinda way, and not in a "why doesn't anybody say "Pahk the Cah" if they are in Boston kind of way.  I'm talking about the way no one seems to have considered the fact that WOMEN CONTROL THE COOKING.

Me, personally?  I'm wondering why the Marthas don't save the seeds from apples purchased at the Loaves and Fish and grind them up to make cyanide.   Not just apple seeds, but peach pits, apricots and cherries all have a concentration of molecules called cyanogenic glycosides, one of which is amygdalin, that turns into cyanide when it comes in contact with your gut bacteria.  (Again- it will be my Google search history read in court, so you are welcome)   I would like to see some commanders clutching their chests and dropping.  I also would not hesitate to consider finely ground glass in a Commander's oatmeal (a dish best served hot) - but maybe that's just me. 

At the very least- I have something in my fridge RIGHT THIS MOMENT that looks like it could cause some serious bodily harm.  I believe we had it for dinner sometime last week, but I digress.

Let's say mass poisonings could not be pulled off undetected in Gilead, and I don't want to end up on the wall. I still have another weapon in my macabre tool box, and that is: THE POINTING FINGER. 

Seems to me it wouldn't be too hard to organize the girls into collectively accusing Aunt Lydia of a little gender treachery.  Or have a bunch of commanders end up at a salvaging due to reported deviant behavior.  One lone accusation may not do much, but collective accusations levied against the top powers in Gilead could cause some serious damage.  Has no one watched The Children's Hour?

And don't even get me started on what could be done with a book of matches.

I know June has a "plan" now- and for that I am grateful.  I just hope that when it is executed that we will get to see the other side suffer as they deserve.  I crave the satisfaction and catharsis that can only come from Fred and Serena receiving their just desserts...and by desserts, I mean apple pie of course.

WWYD?  Leave a comment and let's hatch diabolic fictional plans together to overthrow the patriarchy.  Consider this blog post a written version of "THE PURGE" for your thoughts as the season comes to a close.

I leave you for now the way we leave June at the end of every episode this season...





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